I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
