Whod you bang
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
