i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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