on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
