Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize