My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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