Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
