if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
