I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
