If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
