Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
