there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
