how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
