We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
