how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
