i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
