Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
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