Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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