went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
