She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
