You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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