So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize