Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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