So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Success! We fucked roommates!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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