I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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