if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
