you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
