5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
