i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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