Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
