the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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