is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
