Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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