you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
