Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
