You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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