Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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