xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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