Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
