just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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