Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
only you would photoshop your dick
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
