I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is that strawberry winking at me??
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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