every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
