Me too!
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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