we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
