i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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