i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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