i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
