Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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