He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
