I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
