Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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