Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
