my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
