My Higher Power is John Stamos
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
