does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
