Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
