Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
