Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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