well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
MIDGETS
????
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
